A conversation on using the Human Design System for pregnancy and conscious parenting, with Libby Hoffmann - Moderne Homemaker and Elisa Jordan - Mystical Mama. (part 1 of 3)
Elisa Jordan [EJ]: Today is gonna be a really fascinating conversation. If you’re familiar with Human Design (HD), this is for you. We’re not covering the basics, but {today] it’s incorporating and using HD from the [specific] perspective of pregnancy and motherhood.
My guest is Libby Hoffmann, the founder of Moderne Homemaker. She learned about HD after she had kids, and how impactful this could be to help her nurture her own self, but also to help nurture and encourage her kids to bloom and grow. Not presuppose and project her own stuff onto her kids. That is the hope of HD generally-- like how can we decondition and not impose our own conditioning and societal conditioning as much on each other and our children, and the next generation?
So this will be really fascinating, and if you’re unfamiliar with HD I encourage you to get maybe just a very basic understanding of what HD is all about. Then this might be another deeper layer you can go into. Even if you don’t really understand all the concepts, it’s okay. Just go with the flow and enjoy this really thought provoking conversation on how we can use Human Design on our motherhood journey...
EJ: I’m very excited, just to connect with you, 'A,' and it’s nice to have your "woo woo" sisters with you! [laughter]
Libby Hoffmann [LH]: Yes, absolutely!
EJ: Like, have these fun conversations-- and I’m really curious about your perspective on how we can put on your glasses with HD - around pregnancy, and motherhood with HD, and whatever, and how that’s contributing to your new book.
LH: Yeah, first of all I’m super excited to be here, so thank you so much for inviting me to share in this conversation with you. Just to answer your question about the book, I do have a new children’s book; it’s called ‘We Are All Light’. It is basically kid friendly HD knowledge, and it’s really a reminder for us all – not just children - but for us all, that we have this innate light that is so powerful. It’s always inside of us, and it’s an eternal light. It’s an internal and eternal light, so it’s all about empowerment, and making sure that HD, which is a super complicated system, [laughing] as I know, that you know, and some of the listeners might already know. Just like astrology can get super complicated as well. It’s another tool to make it simple, and to make sure that the knowledge is passed on so that future generations can know themselves as who they are and who they were created to be from the moment they were born.
EJ: That’s so sweet! I love it.
LH: Thank you!
EJ: I love that message, and even just learning the basics of HD a few years ago, I loved the basic premise that it was about helping us to be deconditioned from societal expectations. Before we really dive into HD, I’m curious what your Sun, Moon, and Rising are in your astrology chart?
LH: Yeah! So, I’m happy that you asked me that. I have some really interesting placements actually in my astrology, and with my family as well. It’s really cool to see the synchronicities. My big 3: I’m Aquarius Sun, Leo Rising, and my moon is in Libra... and I have Venus and Mars in Aries, so there’s some [chuckles] things happening there. Also, everyone in my immediate family-- so myself, my partner, and my two sons, all have Venus in Aries. It’s kind of like our collective karma to learn how to move gracefully and to manifest our true desires in this lifetime, together, having that “difficult placement” of Venus in Aries.
EJ: Mmm. That is really fascinating. When I’ve done generational charts, or even just mother and child, or even mother or person and business - {because your business is your baby too} there’s always some link. Somehow they really do synchronize together, like one helps to offset the other, or there is a tie between Venus signs, or your rising is their moon, and so it does all connect in the end. I really really enjoy the family dynamics of astrology as well.
LH: And that also synchronizes with myself and my two sons, we are all Emotional Authorities in HD. So we have those big emotions, and that’s another area we really try to - my husband and I - try to let our kids express those emotions without creating that resistance that just makes it worse. Making sure that we all are on the same page and that we honor emotions for what they are, and we don’t label them as good or bad. It’s just what you’re feeling right now.
EJ: Yeah! The conscious parent movement and shift in paradigm around emotional regulation and intelligence, I am just so happy with our generation really taking the baton and shifting the paradigm to finally WORK. Work these big traumas, we’re the healers, the generational healers. Especially around emotions, I think that's a big theme around our generation with parenting and caretaking. Allowing emotions to come forward, especially if you have a very big emotions child, or even boys; because they’ve socially been constructed to just ‘toughen up’. We’re finally being the change makers, and radical parents, which I’m SO happy to hear!
I’m curious to really dive into the HD step. How has it been as a spiritually inclined and healer, being a mystical mama, how do you incorporate that into your daily motherhood? Or even your own pregnancy journey? Wherever you want to take it. I’m curious how it is for you, as an experienced mystical mama, while I’m familiar with caring for other people's children - I’m currently pregnant - I’ve not necessarily gotten the opportunity to do it my way, fully, with my own child yet.
LH: I have actually been a really spiritual person my entire life. I lost it a little bit in my early 20’s, going into college, coming out and joining the “real world”. I think so many of us, especially women, we feel like that spiritual side of us is this childhood thing. Then we, at least for me, I put that to the side because I thought subconsciously it was a childish thing that I didn’t need as an adult.
It was really hard for me to get pregnant, so I turned back to my spirituality at the time, in my mid 20’s. I delved back into journaling, deeper prayer, connecting to who I was at that soul level, starting to explore more of the spiritual tools and holistic self-care, and all of those things that I hadn’t been doing; preparing for pregnancy, hoping that I would get pregnant. Doing yoga, things like that for my body. I felt really good spiritually, and I finally got pregnant after just over 2 years.
I felt like I was ready, I felt like I was SO ready to be a mother, because I felt so strong spiritually, and I felt so whole. I think when I was pregnant, I just felt complete, having a child I was nurturing inside my body; feeling almost like I was chosen because I was finally pregnant. Honestly, that created a lot of blind spots in other areas of my life that caused a lot of darkness in postpartum for me. I did all of the things for the baby that they tell you, you have to have. The baby shower stuff, the material stuff that baby doesn’t care about--
EJ: All the products!
LH: Yeah! All the products. I really wasn’t prepared for the pain of childbirth, really; labor. With my first son I had backwards labor, where my contractions started, my water broke. My contractions started at 2 minutes apart, super strong and heavy, before I even made it to the hospital. [Then after] I wasn’t fully prepared physically for asking for the support that I needed, being prepared emotionally and mentally. Those are the big things I wasn’t prepared for. You can really be the strongest woman, but if you’re not prepared to ask for support and to have a deeper emotional intelligence, have the warning signs for depression, all those kind of things, then there’s going to be blind spots that you have. If you don’t have a full holistic support system in place for yourself.
It was really really hard for me during my first postpartum. I think also because I had set myself up for this anticipation of this blissful motherhood, when my baby finally came and it wasn't like that… I wouldn’t say it was a disappointment, but it was definitely a shock. It was very traumatic, I feel that those expectations weren’t met, those false expectations. I was really disconnected in postpartum, spiritually. I felt like I didn’t really know my new baby, and I didn’t really know myself anymore. It was very foggy and dark. It was a dark time in my life.
Whenever I got pregnant with my 2nd son, it was really quick - kind of a surprise. The lesson that I learned there was to really choose every moment and to remember that there is magic in every moment. I can thrive through pregnancy and through postpartum when I’m supported. To not just rush through it, not just assume that “Oh you know, you’re gonna have a newborn baby and it’s gonna be terrible, and hard” and something that you want to get through, just focus on the light at the end of the tunnel and get through it… then you can get back to normal life when your baby is older. I noticed myself numbing and having that unhealthy mindset of wanting to get through it, and not choosing the magic in every moment. I didn’t have Human Design in my life [yet].
I found HD, or HD found me, I like to say, in 2018. As soon as I found out about myself, and I looked up my families designs, SO much of my struggles that I had in postpartum and in having an infant- so much of that could have been alleviated if I simply knew some basics of my design, my children’s designs, and my partners designs, to see how we can harmonize and truly support each other in beneficial ways. Same thing with my kids.
That is why, once I also studied the Design of Pregnancy, I knew that there had to be guidance for women and mother identifying people who want to have that magic. They don’t want this time, this really special transition from pregnancy through motherhood, into that fourth trimester and beyond, they don’t want it to be something they just rush through and are done with. They want it to be a part of the whole beautiful process. To stay connected, not just physically, not just emotionally, not just spiritually, but to have that holistic approach so that they can really thrive.
I think that everybody deserves that. I think that every child deserves that. When we take care of ourselves, that has compounding effects for those people that we take care of, and that care for us.
EJ: Absolutely. I love it. Oh I love it! Ooh! What’s your HD?
LH: I’m a 2/4 Projector with Emotional Authority. I have that natural guidance in me as a strength and I’m emotional, as we already talked about. I don’t have consistent sacral energy; that’s a huge area for resistance in pregnancy and postpartum, pushing yourself beyond your limits physically. Not asking for help you really need in order to function.
There’s a lot of people pleasing, really with every HD Type! Especially as a mother; setting your boundaries with other people's opinions, trusting your instincts. That’s a huge thing for Projectors. We [innately] know our needs. We know if we’re tuned into ourselves, we know what decisions we need to make and what is right for us or not. It’s having that validation and self acceptance and confidence to honor all of that for ourselves [first].
I know you are a Manifesting Generator... [to Elisa]
EJ: I am. I’m a Manifesting Generator, 6/2 Profile, Sacral Authority. So in theory, I should have, the basics from all the other HD people, “You should have lots of energy to make things happen, but you’re gonna do it in your own way!” I definitely notice in the first trimester, which is common and how the phase works, barely any bandwidth! I just could nanny, then I could come home and be in my little cuddle corner, nauseous, and read books to help me deal with the physical discomfort.
Soon after, the second trimester energy picked up, and I started getting into this manic cleaning mode once the nausea subsided. I started getting into these little areas I had not cleaned in years, like my bedside table. Then I made an altar for pregnancy. Re-organizing the closets, things like that.
I know in my head what it’s gonna be like postpartum, or close to when the baby comes, and this shit is starting to get in new spots so we don’t get overwhelmed later on.
I’m curious from your perspective... Can you just do your thing now? [both laughing] Do your HD thing! What do I need to know for myself, for HD as a mother?
LH: Can you remind me how many weeks you are?
EJ: I am 20.. Let me double check... 23 and a half weeks.
LH: So you’ll be going into the 3rd trimester in a few more weeks.
EJ: Yeah, basically at the beginning of the month. When we go to Kauai, that’s when the 6 month mark will shift, being in the 3rd trimester.
LH: That’s exciting!
EJ: I know! This is the only time I’m feeling good to fly. Past that, I don’t feel comfortable because anything could happen.
LH: That would be really cool if your design date happens when you’re in Hawaii.
EJ: Oh yeah! And GO! The pregnancy design day isn’t it like the 120th day, like in Yoga practices about spirit coming through?
LH: Yes, it roughly syncs up with the beginning of the third trimester because it is actually calculated retroactively from the birth date. In Human Design knowledge [we learn from Ra Uru Hu], who was the messenger of HD, there is a set period for the first trimester. The first stage of pregnancy, is from conception through 88° of the sun. Then there’s this mystery period [in the second trimester] that is hypothesized to still be developing for us, as humans. Figuring out how long that period actually is, is difficult because that’s the period that can be different for different people.
The last stage, when the soul comes into the vehicle, the body, is the design date, and that’s always 88° of the sun before birth. That time until birth is that certain 88° period, just like the first stage. That’s why it's calculated retroactively from the birth date. When you have your baby you’ll know the design date, so you can’t know the design date until the baby is born. Then that date is calculated.
A lot of times, [the pregnant person] might have a feeling that it’s different, because the design has been imprinted. You’re basically experiencing that energy now because it’s been imprinted. The baby's body, the vehicle, has been infused with the soul. The soul is there now.
You might have, like with one of my sons, I had a really interesting dream. It might be like a dream for you, or this intuitive knowing, or a feeling, or something energetic. Between the 24 and 28 week period you can kind of watch out, be extra aware, maybe keep a dream journal. That would be a great thing to do if you don’t already, to write down your dreams when you wake up. It would be fun to go back and see if any of those things that might happen, those feelings that you get, might correspond with the exact design date.
EJ: That design date is also what we have in our own personal charts. It’s one of the columns, right? On either side of the graph?
LH: Right. When you’re looking at your body graph you’ll see the two columns of numbers. Those are your gate definitions. On the left side, all of the gates are in red. That’s what we call the Design, or the body. That’s your vehicle. That’s when your body was imprinted. That’s when you’re in the womb.
The birth date, the conscious Personality side is the other column on the right, which is all in black. Sometimes you might hear these referred to as Design and Personality, or unconscious and conscious.
EJ: Okay. Got it. Connecting the dots!
LH: Yeah! I know going back to your nesting feeling, nesting phase that you’ve gone through, I know that we had chatted before about your second line in your Profile. The second line is the Hermit archetype.
EJ: Yes.
LH: I feel like that probably plays into that nesting feeling that you have, too. You really like to have your own space. You’re gonna probably have a heightened awareness of that too once baby is here. It will be really important for you to have some kind of time alone, completely alone, every day. Even if it’s 20 minutes in a room by yourself! Having animals even, and people, outside of your aura space, so you feel like it’s your own little cave.
EJ: That reminds me of my 12th House moon I have in my astrology chart. Needing that solitude will be important, and making sure that’s a part of my emotional and physical self care.
LH: Yes, every day. Every single day. Like I said, whether that’s 10 minutes, or an hour, just make sure that it’s non-negotiable EVERY DAY. That will improve your well being.
EJ: Like a bath... I could see having an intentional bath time. I have been conscious that I am that way anyway, that I get super sensitive to other people's energies. I have been trying to plan it out during delivery and postpartum, it’s going to be very small shifts of people. They cannot stay at the house. I’m gonna have the bare minimum of people around me for the delivery, because I know I’ll want to be in the dark with candles, and be a primal animal just feeling into it. Listening to melodic music with headphones, moving my body, and being like “Don’t touch me!” [Giggles]
LH: [Giggles] Yeah! I’m a 2/4, so that second line, I am very aware of it. It’s my personality Profile side. I remember with my first son, he was born in the afternoon. All morning they had kept the curtains closed in my room. Within the hour that he was born, that I was getting ready to push, they opened the curtains. I was like “No! No! I don’t even want a sliver of light." A sliver of light will be even worse, because it feels blinding.
EJ: [in affirmation] Blinding! Hormonally that disrupts the contraction cycle. We do need, hormonally speaking, I’ve been learning, the dark helps boost oxytocin. Which is what you need to help you contract more, so it makes more sense why a lot of pregnant people need interventions at hospitals. It’s blinding bright light at all times, so they can see what’s going on. No! I need it physically darker, that’s how we feel more safe to be in that vulnerable state.
Even the metaphor, how it reminds us of even the womb itself, being in that dark, even red tone if you have flames or red lights, reminds me of being in that portal, in that womb. It’s all linked up! Holistically speaking, it all links up! I feel you on that. That’s great to hear, that tip alone - make sure you get hermit time. That is not just bullshit for you, you need some solitude every day.
LH: Yes! Right.
EJ: I will take that into account. What else do I need to know for myself being a manifesting generator? Whatever else you see? However you want to take the chart. I don’t know if you do it by type, or by the channels … I can’t remember the word right now! [laughing]
LH: The Center, maybe?
EJ: [laughter] The big blocks! Yeah, the Centers!
LH: [laughter] The big shapes! Yeah. It’s so funny, just looking at it can be visually overwhelming. If anybody out there is new to HD, don’t let that overwhelm you. Just start with your type and your authority if you can, and then dive deeper into all the shapes, the numbers, the lines-- dive into that as you can.
End of Part 1. Go to Part 2
Libby Hoffmann is a DONA Intl trained birth doula who specializes in holistic pregnancy and postpartum care using the Human Design System. She’s a mom of two, Appalachian native, and author of the children's book We Are All Light. Connect with Libby here
Elisa Jordan is a cottage witch, modern mystic, and mama sharing about self care, wellness, astrology, & motherhood. Listen to the full podcast episode here; connect with Elisa here